Not gonna lie, got a little dusty in here when I read over this old one

December 2006

So I'm in Florida with my family this week. My mom and sisters were all geeked about me coming down, but after a 12 1/2 hour drive by myself all I can think about is sleep. My cousins Liam and Meagan came over today and we kept them while my uncle and his, ahem, "wife" were at work. Not much to say in regards to her, but anyway. I played with Liam all afternoon, when I wasn't helping my sister skip school or running her around on errands. Man, you talk about the best little kid ever. I think he's 2, maybe 3. You should see his little face light up when he talks. He spent the better part of 3 hours in the back of my truck. "Ball?" "You want me to throw it?" "Yeah!" "Whoo! Nice catch!" "Ball!" And thats what we did. All afternoon. Over and over. It might seem boring, but to watch this little personality unfold and to see the look on his face when he cranked my truck to hear the pipes and to hear him jabber along in his little-person speech has been the highlight of my year. At the same time, there is so much that could go wrong here. His mother is a fuck up, for lack of better terminology. I can see him developing a skewed view of women or severe personality disorders later in life because of her, and that scares the crap out of me. His dad, my uncle, is such a great guy and father that to see the position Liam might be put in just makes me a little uneasy. I don't know. It seems like a lot of people my age have kids or are having kids. Josh and Lisa have Brayden and Briley, who are all my four favorite people in the world outside my family. Cory and Jackie have Owen and Lacey. Owen reminds me so much of Liam. They would get along great if they were near each other. But the idea of me having children and being a parent just scares me, as I'm sure me procreating scares a lot of people. Theres just so much that could go wrong in this day and age that sometimes a divorce is the lesser of many evils. Don't get me wrong, I don't think two people should get divorced if they have children. Ever. At the same time I don't think two people should get married just because the girl gets pregnant either. If theres no relationship or common ground, then you are just asking for trouble down the road. Its just that in the world we live in today kids are such a risk. I can't imagine what I would go through as a family member if something happened to any of the kids in my life, much less if I was their parent. But I guess you can't let that get in the way.